Seething Rage - Première Partie
I just finished unpacking.
A few minutes ago I went out to the car to get the last crate of my stuff that remained in its trunk. As I hefted the container to my hips I heard a sound that promised immediate frustration and pain. I heard the hiss of the automatic sprinklers. For the next ten or fifteen minutes I would be unable to approach the back door of my apartment building without getting soaked.
I had no choice but to walk around the building, which was an uncomfortable task considering the crate of books I was carrying. I also had to unlock two doors while carrying said crate, since I neglected to leave the front door unlocked as a precaution against this event.
Being inconvenienced by others' incompetence, laziness, negligence or thoughtlessness really hits a nerve with me. The idea that something bad is happening to me without a purpose, for no good reason other than that someone else decided that they didn't care really frustrates me. A shrink would say, "Why, Peter, has anything like this happened to you before?"
I will postpone a rant on the idiotic concept of a "lawn", and the environmental havoc wreaked by our excessive water use for a later day.
posted by Salam E. Skinner at 5:06 PM
3 Comments:
I don't think that the sprinklers were timed purposely to coincide with your trip into the house, but I do think we waste water.
Lawns and gardens, however, are pretty, and they serve a purpose. Imagine if there was just dirt around your house with nothing in it. When it rained it would be a huge, disgusting mud pit for you to slop through. Grass kind of helps prevent this. And cement everywhere would look a little to Soviet for my taste.
The point is not that the sprinklers were "timed purposely to concide with my trip into the house". The point is that whenever you have sprinklers timed to go off at some random time during the day, inevitably, someone, somewhere, is going to get hosed.
It's like the false argument that civilian casualties in a war are "unintended". It is a fact that when you engage in a war, civilians will be killed. Just because you don't happen to know in advance when or where it will happen does not excuse the fact that you knowingly made a choice that results in the deaths of innocents.
Lawns are abominations. The state of being a lawn is unnatural and unholy. Nature abhors monoculture, yet lawns are doused in chemicals to ensure that only the "right" plant grows. Grass is not naturally two inches tall. Grass grows to reach its natural size, but to maintain a lawn, one must constantly cut the grass down to keep it "pretty". What natural ecosystem receives water as abundantly and as regularly as a lawn, aside from the tropical rainforests?
Lawns are unnatural, as clearly evidenced by the activities humans must take to keep them so far from equilibrium. Lawns must be watered, mowed, fertilized, and kept free of so-called weeds.
Lawns are one of the signs of the coming of the apocalypse. "When vast fields of unholy green cover the earth, the seeds will have been sown for the final crop of this Earth." Revelation 31:41
...I'm not exactly sure that lawns will (pardon the pun) pave the way for the four horsemen of the apocalypse, but I see what you mean. My landlady doesn't have a lawn, we have a Jurassic Lawn with all kinds of insane plants.
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